I lost my joy.

Simple declarative. Fact.

There’s something freeing in that. It’s almost a moment of pure catharsis to acknowledge –

‘Hi, My name is Sarah, I am a mid-career educator, and I lost my joy’.

For anyone that knows me, this may not be news, and I am genuinely sorry for that. For those who know me only through my projection, you may feel surprised and you are the reason why I feel so compelled to own this. Some of you won’t care, that is fine too, but I urge you to be more open with your weaknesses as there may be a teacher who needs to know that even you, with all of your experience and skill and strength, struggle now and then.

Regardless of the hows and whys, the important thing to focus on is the whats. As in, what are you going to do about it? or rather, what am I doing about it?

In the manner of Peter Pan trying to re-affix his shadow, I wrestled with how to readjust my focus and rediscover my joy. It is a work in progress, and I don’t proclaim some expertise; instead, I present to you my action plan for joy:

1. Reaffirm your values

We all found our way into teaching for different reasons; and upon reflection, I realised that even though mine had become more refined through experience, their core remained unchanged. That core value has become my touchstone. Every day in my reflections, I ask myself ‘How did I add value to a young person?’ Some days it may feel a small thing – a kind word, a smile, a quick laugh; but while it may feel small in the moment, small moments adds up to a much larger whole. The knowledge that I hold myself accountable also leads me to create moments: When you focus on joy, you create moments to experience it.

Sometimes this reaffirmation takes place in the digital realm– you have experience and value; you may be in a place where you need to look externally for that affirmation. Join in the professional conversations, the weekly social media chats, create your own. You are someone’s favourite teacher.

Off the same bat, if you have a teacher whose opinions and contributions you value – make sure you tell them. It will probably make their day. I know it makes mine. Thanks Gwen. And Holly. And Angela. And Meera. And this list is getting long. Because I am surrounded by amazing educators.

 And that brings me joy.

2. Don’t get sucked into the hype

Social Media is an interesting place: a force for good, and for sharing, and for academic debate; but also a single story of each educator and their classroom. I often tell my students, ‘Don’t compare your beginning with someone else’s middle’; in the nature of ‘Physician, heal thyself’ classroom edition, I caught myself wasting precious moments on making my resources Pinterest perfect. To those teachers who share and make my life easier – I thank you; if I have something that may make your life easier – you are welcome to it. But I refuse to present my classroom as anything perfect. I drew a line, and immediately a weight shifted. Good enough is good enough. Your resources don’t add the rigour – you do. Look after that ultimate resource first.

 And that strengthens my joy.

2b. Beware The Algorithm

The single biggest change to my joy was to KonMari the life out of my social media feeds. Be ruthless. The Algorithms are watching. They are designed to be intuitive, to keep your eyes on things you may find interesting based on previous engagements and what your ‘friends’ engage with; however, in the manner of the helpful toddler, this can prove more of a hindrance. And just like a toddler, The Algorithm needs daily, sometimes hourly, reminders of your expectations.

I have learned three lessons:

1) Be brutal with what gets your likes. I have two criteria: is it positive? Is it productive? – because The Algorithm is watching;

2) Mute any negativity, even if it seems minor (I muted one single, popular, account on twitter and my feed got much more positive in a matter of hours) – because The Algorithm is watching;

3) Actively teach The Algorithm what you value by giving feedback on promoted posts and advertising. We are given the function in those three little dots – USE IT - because The Algorithm is learning.

And that safeguards my joy.

3. Count your blessings.

Seriously, count them. Full disclosure, one of my blessings today was finding matching clean socks on the first dig in the mysterious odd-sock drawer. Actively counting my blessings helps me remember every reason I have for gratitude and helps me build up a bit of perspective on my own experience. Catch out some of your 'have to's' and reframe them as 'get to's'. Even something as small as clean socks can snowball. 

And that reinforces my joy.

4. Fake it ‘til you make it. Or don’t. That’s fine too.

This one is my hardest one: it is something I have to remind myself daily. Each day it is becoming easier. At least, I keep telling myself it is. Ultimately, this is less about pretending and more about giving myself permission to embrace my strengths and insecurities and do something positive with them. 

It means accepting your own advice.  

For future reference, I do feel I am more of a pot than a kettle. But I’m working on it.

And that gives me joy.